Visit to the Doctor

Went to the doctor this morning for an 8:30 appointment.

I got there at 8:32.
Therefore I was officially late, so I was kept waiting for half an hour.

The problem is a cough that has persisted for nearly a month.

I saw the doctor previously.
On that visit, as soon as I sat down I told him that even though he would normally ask me to come back in a week, and if the problem is still there we can do something about it. I said that may be good for business, so he gets 2 visits, but it's not good for my health. We all know it is virtually impossible to get pain killers or anti-biotics from Dutch doctors, so I was ready for a battle.

I told him I have an infection with green sputum, so I want antibiotics, Amoxyl to kill the bacterial infection, and no, I'm not allergic to penicillin.

He sat and looked at me with a supercilious smirk as if to say 'Hullo, I'm the doctor here, have you been reading Diagnosis for Dummies?'

Then he launched into a spiel along the lines that 'In Holland we don't just hand over antibiotics like they do in England.' (Any English speaker is logically assumed to be English.)

He went on about a super-breed of bacteria that could take over the country. The Dutch are understandably sensitive about the possibility of a takeover.

He continued that he wouldn't prescribe antibiotics 'unless you insist'.
I confirmed that I do, so he gave me a prescription for a generous allocation of 3 tablets. They cost 5 Euro each, but did the job. He didn't look in my mouth or listen to my chest.

That was two weeks ago. So on this morning's visit I told the doctor I still have a nasty cough that has persisted for nearly a month. After due deliberation, and a quick listen to my back, she concluded that I just need to stop coughing.

I thanked her for her excellent advice and left.

Not really. She explained that coughing can damage the throat and stimulate the coughing reflex, so I need to resist the urge to cough.
I couldn't argue with such sound yet circular reasoning, so I left empty handed.

I suspect she did the same Logic and Rhetoric course as the people at the tax department, who told me they can only speak English to tell people they can't speak English.

Frank Zappa said “Art is making something out of nothing and selling it."
So that's why doctors are called Huisarts in Holland!

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